THEY ARE WHAT?

You are reading this because you have just found out that your loved one is a witch, Wiccan or Neo-Pagan.  You are worried about your daughter or son, husband or wife, other family member or good friend.  You have a million unspoken questions and fears.

So ask yourself this: If they had told you they were converting to Judaism, Buddhism or Mormonism, would you be worried or upset? 

The fact is, you love them and becoming those religions seems less menacing some how. 

Maybe some information might help you find this path less menacing, too. 

I know what your thinking, "She is THAT. She would say anything to defend that."

It is true, I am that, a Wiccan, pagan and witch.  I was also a Christian for 27 years and I continue to study the history of Christianity and the Bible to this day.  So let's look at some common misconceptions that breed these fears.

In League with Satan,

Darkness & All That is Evil

The person that you love isn't going to turn green, grow warts or take a sudden interest in sacrificing small animals. They are not doing rites to Satan or rites to invoke his legions of demons. You aren't going to require Buffy to slay any of their offspring. They aren't going to do perverted things to small children. They aren't going to dress all in black and they aren't going to hex you if you make them angry.

Pagans, Witches and Wiccans have a central belief in the inherentness of Divinity in all things. They have a tendency to believe that there is an all powerful and all knowing entity that is above all things, but they call that entity, Great Spirit, the One or Gaia.
 

From this One the masculine aspect of Deity is created and they call him God or Lord. He is known by so many names: Pan, Osiris, Jehovah, Herne, Currunous, Belin, Father Sky, Jesus Christ (Yes, that Jesus.). He is the all father, the spark of life, gentle and loving.
 

From the One, the feminine aspect of Deity is created and they call her Goddess or Lady. She is known by so many names: Estarte, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Rhiannon, the Morgan, Isis, Mary (Yes, that Mary).
 

Magic?

They do believe in magic. Not David Copperfield illusionist magic, the real kind.  The kind of magic that makes miracles.  You believe in miracles, right?

They do not do magic with the intent to hurt you or manipulate you. That isn't what they are about. The magic they believe is just a thought away. What if the scientist were right and people could make things happen just by thinking it? What if witches do that already and call it magic. Quantum Physics and Wave Theorem daily bring us ever closer to these realities; what if there were a spiritual people who were already there? What if magic and prayer worked the same way?

Nature Based?

Sure, they think in an ecologically friendly way.  So they might be the lady next door who recycles religiously, something you have thought about doing to honor the earth God made.  They might have a lot of herbs lying around in their gardens or dried in jars. They might also ask you if you want healing and utilize energy to work upon you. They go to 'gatherings' where they meet up with other pagan/Wiccan/witches to celebrate the Sabbat by camping out and being in and among nature.

What about the grandkids?

Most pagan parents are going to teach their children tolerance and a simple adage - "And it harm none, do what you will." This deceptively simple version of the Ten Commandments leads them to tell their children that 'harm none' means themselves, animals, plants, and other people.

So stealing, disrespectful behavior, intolerance, not taking ownership for one's behavior, these things are harmful to those around you and are not what you would want your grandkids or children to do, right?

Will children attend rituals?

Did you carry your children to church?  Why? 

You hoped that by instilling a faith in God and a strong backing in morality and values you would raise children happier and healthier than you are. Good productive citizens who have good hearts and lots of honor.  Isn't that what all parents want for their children? 

Spinning Pentacle, Robin Wood© Used with Permission. 

Pagan Parents take their children to their rituals for the Sabbats and Moons for the same reasons. If you are worried, asked to attend one!  If you want your grandchild to have the influences of your faith, ask permission to carry your grandchildren to church once in a while.  Most won't object, if the children do not object.  Don't expect them to help you force anything down their children's throats, though.

Although in some southern states custody has been decided based upon a religious affiliation, increasingly pagan parents are much more aware of the laws that protect freedom of religion and in recent years attempt to restrain pagan children from learning about paganism has been over turned in the court system and judged 'unconstitutional and not in the best interest of the child.'

Cults?

In religion or groups of any kind the risk of running into cults who try to control a person's every move is high.  I strongly recommend this link, which talks about Cult Evaluation. If you are worried, send it to your loved one.

Are you sure?

Now I will say that there are 'witches' out there who dress in all black, place hexs on people and generally give Wiccans, Witches and Pagans a bad name. Just as I knew of a Pastor who ran off with his secretary and gave the whole of the Baptist Faith a bad name for my family for a long time. I have also seen on TV, Priests arrested for the violation of young children.

My point is this, there are bad apples in every group. Just because someone you met may do things you don't approve of and they happen to be "pagan" doesn't mean that your loved one is going to do those things! It also doesn't mean that the whole spiritual path that makes up Paganism, Witchcraft and Wicca is terrible. The pastor of my youth didn't destroy my faith in God and the Priests haven't destroyed the religious validity of the Catholic Church.

What will happen to my loved one?

They are just going to continue to be them, as you continue to be you. They look out their windows and they see the One is not only creating the tools of the Lord and Lady to help us but the Earth itself is alive with Spirit. Running within us and outside of us, connecting us like the air we breathe. This One demonstrates that we are One.

They may change, becoming a better them than they were, but isn't that the hope of any spiritual journey? To be a better you then the you you were when you started?

Try to remember that the best 'testimony' of your convictions is how you deal with others.  If you deal with them in a strong and loving way, without the casting of stones, you are more likely to keep the dialogue open that will salvage your relationship and keep you in the lives of your grandchildren. In the end everyone just wants to be love and that has been the calling of prophets and messiahs the world over...love one another.

What do Neo-Pagans want?

Sure pagans, Wiccans and witches have an agenda.  They want to worship freely and without judgment and persecution or threats of loosing their homes, their children or their jobs.

I know it is hard because you have been taught for years that witch's are something they really aren't. So take it slow, read over this site and others, ask your loved ones questions, buy some books if you haven't already. What you are going to find is a fiercely personal belief system that is open enough for you and your loved one to have a relationship, have your differences be minimized and your love be maximized.

I am happy to answer questions you might not want to ask your loved one. Just let me know what you concerns are and we will talk it over.